It’s move in day at East Carolina University. It was my first real time away from the small town I grew up in and I couldn’t tell if I was nervous or excited, although it was probably both. I looked at this opportunity to re-create myself as a person and to find a career I would love (which there are so many things wrong with that; we will tackle in later posts).
I started my college career undisciplined, unfocused, and being completely unhappy with my decisions. My GPA in the 1st semester was a 1.9, so naturally I was placed on academic probation and I also got to hear stern but caring words from my parents. I decided to turn the corner academically, but instead of just trying harder, I actually chose to lower my standards on what I wanted to do. When first starting college, I wanted to pursue the Optometry field, which later came to be the Physical/Health Education field. There is nothing wrong with the becoming a teacher if that’s something you truly want to do. It was wrong due to the fact I let myself lower my standards.
I drank quite a bit in college because I wanted to fit into the norm, have fun and chase women. I didn’t care who I hurt and lived recklessly. I started to notice that I couldn’t sleep at night, cried most of them and felt a black hole in my heart. I realized I was pretty disgusted with who I had became and where I was headed.
My parents raised me in a Christian household and taught my chivalry. I am thankful that God put them into my life. I was struggling between two worlds: the one where everyone wants you to act a certain way, and the one where God wants you to be the light that shines through the darkness.
I struggled with this and it’s constantly a work in progress, but I simply chose my savior, Jesus. I’m not here to push my beliefs on you; I’m just telling you what I went through. A big turning point in my transition was a book called Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman, I highly recommend the book and movie.
Willingness to Change
I’m sure a lot you are going through your dark point in life and praying for an answer. The willingness to change has to come from your heart; it’s not an easy path, but well worth it. I’ve always tried to watch the masses and do the opposite, even when I was a kid. There is always a choice, but you have to be in the present moment so it doesn’t pass you by. We are all meant for a successful, abundant life and to let our light shine so others can do the same.
I will touch on some of the points in the blog in later blogs.